What Would Jerry Seinfeld Do?

I was at the pharmacy recently, in line behind about 15 other people. The setup was such that there was one clearly demarcated queue feeding into a row of approximately five cashiers. As each cashier finished a transaction, he or she would invite the next customer to that particular station (thankfully not using the questionably grammatical “Can I help who’s next?”).

As I stood in line, I noticed that the woman behind me was slowly and subtly invading my personal space in an attempt to move ahead of me in line. At first, I gave her the benefit of the doubt: maybe we arrived at the same time; maybe I didn’t notice her and inadvertently cut her off when I walked in. However, I clearly remembered looking around before getting in line so as to prevent such a faux pas. Verdict: guilty.

My knee-jerk reaction was to protect my space and prevent her from advancing. In response, she adopted a new strategy. She stood off to the side of the line, as if confused about the system, and slowly moved toward the cashiers. When the one nearest her beckoned for the next customer, she made a beeline for the counter.

Freeze-frame: what to do?

During social conflicts, my regionally diverse upbringing makes itself known via a domino effect of emotional reactions. My formative years in upstate New York meant that my intuitive response in this situation was to yell:

“HEY! What do you think you’re doing? Do you think nobody saw that? Get back in line!”

However, the 15 years I lived in the Midwest immediately canceled out the New York reaction:

“be passive aggressive. You can be mad, and think that lady is rude, but dontmakeascenedontmakeascenedontmakeascene.”

Following the Illinois voice, Georgia made an appearance. This one was passive aggressive, too, but more along the lines of:

(to the other rule-following patrons) “Oh my gosh, ya’ll. Did you see what that woman did? Some people.”

Of course, after a year and a half in San Francisco, the when-in-Rome attitude of “whatever” has taken root as well. This was the prevailing attitude amongst the line-standers at the pharmacy. Some people took note of the woman’s obviously antisocial behavior, but shrugged it off. As for me, after my internal regional conflict, I came up with this:

I had nowhere to be in the immediate future. In fact, my schedule is so very flexible at the moment, it is driving me mildly insane. The truly interesting part of this scenario is that woman’s personality. What is it that caused her to pull such an elementary school-esque move? Did she have a small child to pick up at day care? Was she double-parked? Was she missing her favorite TV show? Why is it that she was perfectly comfortable subverting the other patrons’ (unknown) needs for hers?

In short: four years of sociology classes trump geography.

Filed under Anecdotes, Shopping

2 Responses So Far
  1. 1

    Kelsey said,

    March 6, 2007 @ 8:48 am

    This happens to me upon occasion & I have defaulted to exactly what you did. Although, I must admit that I have thrown dirty looks a couple of times or rolled my eyes — equally passive aggressive, I know. Minnesota will do that to you as well.

  2. 2

    dr said,

    March 7, 2007 @ 7:20 pm

    I’m all about the knowing stare.

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