The Mad Dash, Part II

… continued (see Part I)

Act I, Scene II

After collecting several heavy bags from their hotel, R + J carefully evaluate transportation options. Upon learning that there is a bus that will take them directly to the train station, they opt for this method. They climb onto a crowded bus on the 151 line.

R: (As the bus pulls over to the first of many stops.) Yeah, this is a good idea. A taxi would be expensive, and this will take us right there.
J: This is definitely the best option.
R: (As the bus sits idle in bumper-to-bumper holiday traffic.) So. How about that Giordano’s waiter?
J: I’m really glad we had enough plates. It’s really annoying to be at a restaurant thinking, ‘This meal would be perfect, if only we had at least seven more plates.’
R: Big plates.
J: (As the bus pulls over to a stop approximately 100 yards from the last stop.) Yeah, who needs small plates? They’re just a conspiracy on the part of dinnerware manufacturers to get us to buy more stuff.

The bus inches forward. R + J nervously monitor the time. A basic analysis of time spent traveling vs. time allotted leaves them very, very nervous.

R: I’m a little worried.
J: I’m worried too. No. I mean, that’s bad luck. I’m not nervous! Not at all! EverythingisgoingtobefineOKfineOK. Yes. Fine.

The bus continues to alternate between picking up/dropping off large amounts of people and sitting in traffic.

J: WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PEOPLE!?!
R: This is a major shopping district, and it’s 2 days before Christmas.
J: WHY DIDN’T THEY SHOP EARLIER? DON’T THEY PLAN AHEAD?
R: We don’t have any presents, either. We didn’t plan ahead.
J: STOP SAYING THINGS THAT MAKE SENSE.

Time slips away more and rapidly, as R + J become increasingly worried. R alternately monitors Amtrak’s projected departure time and Google’s map of the bus route. Finally, the bus stops at Union Station. R + J dash out and run toward the ticket counter.

To be continued …

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Filed under Anecdotes, Theatre of the Absurd

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