Princess Lorena and the Woodfin Castle


Photo credit: gari.baldi

Once upon a time there was a fairy princess named Lorena. Princess Lorena was imprisoned by the Evil King Hardage in the Woodfin Castle in a Kingdom called Emeryville. She was made to scrub and polish and vacuum at whirlwind speed, so fast that she could barely see. Even worse, the modest allowance she received was barely enough to cover her basic needs, never mind a doctor to look at her achy back.

After many years of this treatment, a ray of light appeared. The Kingdom of Emeryville had begun toying with the idea of Democracy, and its subjects were cautiously allowed an opinion as to the treatment of imprisoned fairy princesses. The Kingdom decreed that said persons should be paid no less than $9 hourly, and that they should not be required to clean at whirlwind speed but instead at a reasonable, steady pace.

This was excellent news for Princess Lorena. She whirled of her own accord – a whirl of glee, not of backbreaking, underpaid labor. Unfortunately, King Hardage wasn’t nearly as happy. He simmered and stewed and plotted and planned until he came up with an idea: he would ignore the decree. He was King, after all, and had lots of money and power and, well, aren’t kings supposed to be evil?

Princess Lorena sighed and continued scrubbing and polishing and vacuuming, still at whirlwind speed and still for a modest allowance. However, she began to notice something: there were other fairy princesses in the Woodfin Castle, and a few princes, and even a good witch or two. They were all victims of the evil King Hardage, and together they could outwit him. They simmered and stewed and plotted and planned until they came up with an idea: they would work in solidarity until they were treated justly. They held press conferences! They signed petitions! The spoke to the People, and demanded that the decree be upheld.

The princesses and princes and good witches enraged King Hardage. His wrath was felt from one end of the Kingdom to the other. The People were scared, and forgot about their decree. Princess Lorena and her friends were terrified, but they knew that their cause was just. They bravely stood their ground, until King Hardage threw them out of the Woodfin Castle, claiming that they were in the wrong Kingdom anyway and that he didn’t know why he had imprisoned them in the first place.

Well, there’s one thing scarier than being overworked and underpaid, and that’s not working and not being paid. But the Princess and her friends bravely carried on, supporting those who were left in the Castle, and demanding the money they were owed. King Hardage became even more furious, and summoned an army that he called Immigration and Customs Enforcement. The army, which was comprised of a vicious group of hooligans, did its very best to scare everyone away. Princess Lorena and her friends were again terrified, but still they knew their cause was just.

The next part is yet to come, but the Princess and her friends need your help! Pay close attention to the clues, and you’ll see what to do.

All the people in the Kingdom and in the kingdoms all around it gathered together to say that they would not tolerate worker injustice! They insisted that the Woodfin Castle pay the money owed to the workers who had scrubbed and polished and vacuumed at whirlwind speed. They met on Monday, November 17th, 2008, beginning at 5 PM at the Woodfin Castle, which is located at 5800 Shellmound Street in the Kingdom of Emeryville. They marched and picketed and yelled until they were heard all through the land, and then they arrived at the Emeryville City Council meeting to demand that the decree be upheld.

Princess Lorena and her friends were awarded their back pay, and even returned to their jobs. They didn’t forget their struggle, though. The lived happily ever after, in solidarity with all workers in all kingdoms everywhere.

Comments (1)

Filed under Bay Area, Blogicize the Revolution, Evil Businesses

1 Response So Far
  1. 1

    Lorena Woodfine said,

    December 11, 2009 @ 5:10 pm

    Haha….I am that fairy princess :-)

    Yours,

    Lorena Woodfine

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