Feed the Masses

While doing the part of my job described as “mindnumbing” during my orientation, I thought of a name for the advertising agency I will never have:

“Lowest Common Denominator”

Tagline: Low standards for high profits.

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Bright Spots

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Thesis/Antithesis

Symbol etched into a sidewalk in Oakland:

Symbol I sketched for a class project, aiming to illustrate the word “activism”:

I guess you could argue that Mercedes-Benz would benefit from a guerilla art campaign. However, I think I’ll file this incident under “Mortifying Moments”, along with the time I wondered aloud whether Whole Foods carries Diet Coke.

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Siamese Dream

Presenting Jaspar, in the “Gratuitous Pet Pictures” series:

Finally, highlighting the the super-cool book Leaf gave me and the super-cool book Rosemary and Paul gave me:

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We Love You, Abdul

The highly photogenic Abdul works at Nature’s Best, our neighborhood grocery store. Although he consented to having his picture posted online, he declined the interview I requested. I will therefore assume that he wishes to cultivate an elusive, mysterious persona. Nonetheless, I don’t think he will mind my saying that he is absolutely the coolest kid on the block. We are lucky to call him a friend.

If you live in Oakland, drop by Nature’s Best (Jackson and 15th) and tell him to stop grinning already. He’s gonna blind us with that smile.

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24-Hour BART

The Bay Bridge is closed this weekend, so Sanjay, Lian and I took advantage of 24-hour public transportation.

A few random quotes from the wee hours at the very happening Powell station:

“Dude, there are no trash cans around here, you know, because of the terrorists. I was looking all over for a place to toss my beer bottle. I had to put it under one of those orange cones”.

“IS ANYONE HERE AN UNDERCOVER COP???”, followed by “Does anyone have anything to smoke this in?”

“I’ll give five bucks to anyone who can turn a cartwheel on one finger”, followed by:

Sanjay’s (and random tired guy’s) take on the scene:

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Block Party

This is what I came home to this afternoon:

There was a pretty serious bomb scare a block away from our apartment today, resulting in emergency personnel blowing up what they thought might be a pipe bomb. It later turned out that the “bomb” was actually a camera tripod, but things were quite interesting for a while. Our neighborhood played host to about two dozen police officers, six helicopters, several bomb-sniffing dogs and a couple of news stations for a few hours. Our street was closed to traffic, and when I asked a cop whether I could walk down it, he replied “you should be OK”, in a voice that insinuated he wouldn’t be held responsible if I exploded into a million pieces in front of my apartment.

Aside from this ominous encounter, the whole scene was very chill – people were out walking their dogs and buying groceries and such. Most stopped for a few minutes to watch the scene unfold. I decided the event would make a great chapter in our household photo album, so I took a bunch of pictures.

Here’s a woman trying to convince a cop to let her past the crime scene tape:

Their exchange, verbatim:

Woman: Please, Officer, I just need to get into my apartment for a minute.
Cop: Lady, there is a BOMB over there. I don’t have time for this.

I returned home by the time they set off the tripod/suspected explosive device. However, I heard it clearly enough to feel a panicky sensation born of the realization that I might have taken for granted the skills of the Alameda County Bomb Squad. As soon as I went outside, however, it was clear that all was well: the general theme of the onlookers’ conversation was “Oh my God, I have to call So-and-So. She’ll never believe this.

Word on the street (and from the San Francisco Chronicle, whose word is only slightly better than that from the street) is that the person they suspected of setting the nonexistent bomb is angry about being arrested earlier today. Apparently, he was intimidating witnesses at an ongoing murder trial. This makes perfect sense to me. After all, what better way to illustrate that one is not a threat than to leave an explosive device in your car?

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