Photo credit: gari.baldi

Once upon a time there was a fairy princess named Lorena. Princess Lorena was imprisoned by the Evil King Hardage in the Woodfin Castle in a Kingdom called Emeryville. She was made to scrub and polish and vacuum at whirlwind speed, so fast that she could barely see. Even worse, the modest allowance she received was barely enough to cover her basic needs, never mind a doctor to look at her achy back.

After many years of this treatment, a ray of light appeared. The Kingdom of Emeryville had begun toying with the idea of Democracy, and its subjects were cautiously allowed an opinion as to the treatment of imprisoned fairy princesses. The Kingdom decreed that said persons should be paid no less than $9 hourly, and that they should not be required to clean at whirlwind speed but instead at a reasonable, steady pace.

This was excellent news for Princess Lorena. She whirled of her own accord – a whirl of glee, not of backbreaking, underpaid labor. Unfortunately, King Hardage wasn’t nearly as happy. He simmered and stewed and plotted and planned until he came up with an idea: he would ignore the decree. He was King, after all, and had lots of money and power and, well, aren’t kings supposed to be evil?

Princess Lorena sighed and continued scrubbing and polishing and vacuuming, still at whirlwind speed and still for a modest allowance. However, she began to notice something: there were other fairy princesses in the Woodfin Castle, and a few princes, and even a good witch or two. They were all victims of the evil King Hardage, and together they could outwit him. They simmered and stewed and plotted and planned until they came up with an idea: they would work in solidarity until they were treated justly. They held press conferences! They signed petitions! The spoke to the People, and demanded that the decree be upheld.

The princesses and princes and good witches enraged King Hardage. His wrath was felt from one end of the Kingdom to the other. The People were scared, and forgot about their decree. Princess Lorena and her friends were terrified, but they knew that their cause was just. They bravely stood their ground, until King Hardage threw them out of the Woodfin Castle, claiming that they were in the wrong Kingdom anyway and that he didn’t know why he had imprisoned them in the first place.

Well, there’s one thing scarier than being overworked and underpaid, and that’s not working and not being paid. But the Princess and her friends bravely carried on, supporting those who were left in the Castle, and demanding the money they were owed. King Hardage became even more furious, and summoned an army that he called Immigration and Customs Enforcement. The army, which was comprised of a vicious group of hooligans, did its very best to scare everyone away. Princess Lorena and her friends were again terrified, but still they knew their cause was just.

The next part is yet to come, but the Princess and her friends need your help! Pay close attention to the clues, and you’ll see what to do.

All the people in the Kingdom and in the kingdoms all around it gathered together to say that they would not tolerate worker injustice! They insisted that the Woodfin Castle pay the money owed to the workers who had scrubbed and polished and vacuumed at whirlwind speed. They met on Monday, November 17th, 2008, beginning at 5 PM at the Woodfin Castle, which is located at 5800 Shellmound Street in the Kingdom of Emeryville. They marched and picketed and yelled until they were heard all through the land, and then they arrived at the Emeryville City Council meeting to demand that the decree be upheld.

Princess Lorena and her friends were awarded their back pay, and even returned to their jobs. They didn’t forget their struggle, though. The lived happily ever after, in solidarity with all workers in all kingdoms everywhere.

Dear Logan,

It is with great regret that I must inform you that my golden days of enjoying air travel are waning. With this is mind, I wish to relate to you afterthoughts from a recent experience in your airport.

• If a location exists within the airport that, theoretically, might be a place people would want to go, adequate signage is imperative. For example, if one’s goal is to reach “Terminal B”, it should be easily accessible from “Terminal A”. It is not acceptable to post several teaser signs only to have travelers arrive at a vast expanse of open space devoid of any further direction to “Terminal B”.
• All maps must include a “You Are Here” indicator.
• If “Gate 9b” exists within the elusive “Terminal B”, it is again wise to provide some guidance as to how to reach said location. This is useful in validating that the gate actually exists and is not a figment of the “Departures” screen’s imagination. It is not helpful to gleefully and repeatedly direct travelers toward “Gates 22-36″ and “Gates 37-73″ with no mention of gates 1-21.
• It is paramount that connecting travelers not be subjected to a second security check within the airport. This may result in the following: a) forgetting that one purchased a (greater than 3-ounce) bottle of juice, expecting to hold onto it until one was good and ready to drink it, and b) forgetting that one painstakingly packed toiletries in the required 3-ounce containers within the mandatory Ziploc™ bag, causing one to leave them in one’s bag and subsequently panic that one may be subjected to a Homeland Security interrogation, only to find that the security employees won’t even notice these errant items.
• It might be useful to train security check employees to be more selective about the interpretation of possibly lethal items. It is very, very frustrating to stand in Security Lane 1, which happens to be the only one open, only to hear the constant drone of “Bag check! Bag check on one!” It is also ironic when one’s potentially dangerous shampoo sails through the scanner without comment.
• Do not allow yuppie chains with names like “Curritos: Burritos WIthout Borders” to set up shop.
• Provide recycling bins.

In short, do not cause travelers to wander in circles desperately hoping that a magic trapdoor to “Gate B9b” will open, only to present the fabulous consolation prize of a second trip through security. Also, be more selective regarding dining options, and give people a non-landfill option for the disposal of plastic bottles containing juice rapidly chugged before the unexpected security visit.

Janna
Resigned Traveler

Excerpt from a corporate email:

We recently had our Bay area rep move to New York, so unfortunately we will not be able to come out on site right away. Our local resources are now in San Diego, and I also have a resource in Colorado.

shouldn’t weigh on one’s conscience. However:

I’ve met “feminists” who think Madeleine Albright is amazing because she is a strong female policymaker. I think there’s a special place in hell for those people. It’s that circle where you breathe depleted uranium dust, where your kid has a one in eight chance of dying before the age of five, and where cholera isn’t some old school concept you read about in Little House on the Prairie.

Pacific Gas & Electric screwed up, and now they owe a bunch of people money. The fact that they’re being held accountable, that consumers’ rights are being protected, blah blah blah is inspiring and wonderful, of course. However, my favorite part of the SFGate’s article on this is where they cover PG&E’s response to the question of what people should do if they think they deserve a refund.

PG&E’s position:

PG&E says it will identify people who deserve a refund and give them a credit on their bill … The utility has not yet set up a mechanism for handling [disputes] and told The Chronicle it doesn’t want customers flooding its phone lines with requests. “Customers don’t need to take any action right now,” a spokesperson said.

SFGate’s response:

Just in case you feel like contacting them anyway, here’s PG&E’s customer service line: (800)743-5000.

In a record-shattering bout of procrastination earlier today, I had the opportunity to read a variety of archived articles on the San Francisco Chroncicle’s website. One in particular, titled “Empite Built on Sand” made me think about certain peculiarities of human nature.

The gist of the piece is this: Ricardo Ramirez, a San Francisco-based cement supplier who landed a number of lucrative contracts for projects ranging from earthquake retrofits to parking garages, has been accused of providing substandard product to many of his clients.

Basically, the stuff he mixed up could be loosely defined as “concrete,” but contains more recycled material than is safe for load-bearing structures. The article outlines how, over time, he became more and more brazen in cheating clients out of the materials they had ordered. Given that the recycled cement he sold cost 10% of the price of the safer kind, he made a small fortune in doing so.

Of course, all of this is yet to be proven, legally speaking. I’m not interested, though, in getting into a discussion of who “alleged” this, and what happened “according to” that person. Aside from the fact that I hope to not be on the Bay Bridge when the cement gives out, the facts aren’t really what interest me. I’m more fascinated by the idea that people like this “alleged” scam artist do actually exist.

As I read the story, I couldn’t help wondering what makes a person endanger the lives of thousands of people and cheat public agencies out of millions of dollars. Is it some sort of character flaw? A traumatic childhood? Cultural oppression (a theme in the article)?

Obviously, greed must play a large factor. I can understand the need for money - I’ve learned over the past year that it’s very useful in procuring basic necessities, but seriously? Luxury cars? Designer cowboy boots? How do these items become indispensible? How do they become more important than others’ safety?

The only answer I can come up with is that a person like this must have a truly monstrous ego. Only a person rating a 10 on the self-absorption scale would think his own trivial desires supersede the basic needs of everyone else. Selfishness is a useful quality in some situations, i.e. getting ahead in life, and it makes sense to embrace it here and there. Some people do so more than others, and they are the ones who are seen as having stepped on everyone else to get to the top. This guy is the perfect example of this approach, but taken to the nth degree.

On a more twisted level, this scenario also speaks to a need for control. What could be a better euphoria for the power-hungry than secretly playing Russian Roulette with strangers’ lives? I’m thinking that, if you’re this guy, there’s probably a sadistic thrill that comes along with watching people blithely drive over substandard structures. He knew exactly what he was doing, was told by numerous people that he should stop, and kept doing it. He had power, and liked it.

A couple of basic psych classes in college and two years working as a crisis counselor lead me to speculate that the character flaw theory and the traumatic childhood theory are equally possible, and not mutually exclusive. Cultural oppression, which is suggested in the article as either a cause for his behavior or the reason for his legal “persecution,” could be significant as well, whether it was actually present or simply perceived to be.

Feeling victimized generally leads to the desire for control, and this guy’s unhealthy ego channeled that into an approach that could probably win an award for passive-aggressiveness. This is a real shame, because various forms of oppression are everywhere. The idea that this man’s actions could be excused by either real or imagined victimhood is an insult to people who work in healthy ways to combat injustice. A better solution? Try community organizing, or therapy. You know what they say about the eye for an eye approach - it’s childish, and it doesn’t work. And something about leaving everybody blind.

Mother Nature is no match for the US Military:

Image stolen from: CNN

I can’t resist checking out CNN once in a while to get my Lowest Common Denominator fix. For those who don’t have the time to bypass items that may be vaguely newsworthy, check out WTFCNN? for a summary of the absurd.